Working is both exciting and stressing. Pressure is both motivating and depressing. I’ve imagined that when a big task befalls me, i would deal with it, thinking of those stressful exam times in the past. But studying in Germany has made some of these instincts become more dormant. For what am i fighting for? I used to fight for a placement in the university, a scholarship to study oversees….these dreams were my 6-cyclinder motor. From time to time when God speaks to me, i’m refueled but i’m no longer using the fuel that is sufficient to drive a monster engine to its fullest: i’m using it to drive my small kancil. Somewhere inside me this monstrous engine is snoring in a steady rhythm. Not anymore.
This semester, i needed it to be awaken. When a car is moving fast, the entire nature tries to hold it back. Yet, i know i have the fuel within me and my motor roars impatiently. Yes yes i know, i’m pressing on the gas pedal. Yet, resistance will be larger but i want to soar forward. God says in Proverbs 16:3 to commit and you will succeed. To commit to soaring, to overcome the resistance. The hot exhaust will burn but the resistance and the heat will not hold me back.
The resistive forces are essential and important too in my forward movement. But I experience the fuel flowing in my pipelines, Lord, if You are with me, no one can be against me. You sustain me. For that i dedicate my performance to you. Let’s roll….
